


I see you wasted no time filling my seat hole

by queenofcrossroads



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofcrossroads/pseuds/queenofcrossroads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which all the members of the Bluth family (but Tobias) have had at least one gay encounter in their lives. Under no circumstance should you take this seriously! Sort of headcanons I decided to write after a Blunder Bus conversation where someone suggested Tobias wanted eveyone to be gay. (If you tell me who it was, I'll credit them of course!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I see you wasted no time filling my seat hole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Blunder Bus](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Blunder+Bus).



**GOB**  
Gob was 23 the first time a lady asked him to follow her to her car. She was a forty-something-year-old (and not one of those who age well), but she was offering to pay. Gob didn't give it a second though; money was money and sex was sex.   
Following women to their cars became a habit for Gob, and it was only after a while that a man made him a similar proposition. This man was certainly more attractive than his usual clients and was paying more. Money was money and sex was sex.   
That was the first time Gob slept with a man, and it definitely wouldn't be the last.

 

**Lucille**  
The kids never heard the whole story about the au pair and the elephant brooch. Now, it was Lucille and George Sr's 15th anniversary and she had finally caved in to his request: a threesome with a foreign woman. Well, a threesome as a matter of speak, because what George Sr wanted (and what he got) was to watch his wife having sex with another woman. Needless to say, the money he spent on her that year reached new absurd proportions.

 

**George Michael**  
Before George Michael quit acting (for what would be forever), he got to fulfill Maeby's desire to kiss Steve Holt; several times during several rehearsals. Thus, one more incestous relationship made the family record.

 

**Michael**  
Three was the amount of women Michael had had sex with before he met his wife in sophomore year. You see, he was too busy cramming for some exam or working for the Bluth Company to ever let himself party like the other students. Perhaps that was the reason why he spent so much time alone with Matt, his roomate, a guy in a similar situation. Yes, three was the amount of women Michael had had sex with before he met his wife, but those women were not the only ones Michael had slept with.

 

**Lindsay**  
On the other hand, Lindsay had attended parties instead of classes. It was shortly before she dropped out that she found herself making out with some chick to turn guys on, only to realize she was turned on as well. That night, Lindsay got lucky but not exactly the way she had expected.

 

**George Sr**  
One month was all George Sr could go without sex in jail. It was his longest dry spell ever since he'd started dating Lucille, though regularity was not always fulfilled by her. So when a very feminine man with long, blonde hair offered himself to George Sr for a pack of cigarettes, he simply took comfort in that “it was what jail had done to him”.

 

**Buster**  
When Buster was 14, someone started the rumor that he was gay ( _someone_ of course meaning Gob). That was when Joshua, a classmate he had never talked to, reached him and comforted him, saying he had nothing to be ashamed of. Buster did not understand right away what he meant by that, but when the other boy went for a kiss, it all made sense. Milford School did not come soon enough for Buster.

 

**Maeby**  
“Mom, dad, this is my girlfriend” had proclaimed Maeby in a desperate attempt to get her parents attention.   
“That's wonderful hun, I'm glad you have girlfriends to talk to” was the response she got from her mother. But before she could say anything in return, Lindsay and Tobias had vanished from sight. She even made out with Pam on the spot, hoping for them to notice her, which of course, as a rule, never happened.   
“Well, thanks anyways.” Maeby pulled out her wallet and paid Pam $150 in six $20 bills.


End file.
